‘Me Before You’ FILM REVIEW

Now, a couple of months ago I did a book review on the wonderful novel ‘Me Before You’ by Jo Jo Moyes, so it only felt right to complete the circle with a film review to mame-before-you-poster.jpgtch. Needless to say, I adored this movie. The casting was spot on, the locations were beautiful and the story itself…utterly, utterly heartbreaking. 

But these are all things I already knew- just from the trailer. If I can fault this movie on just one thing, it was the amount of publicity and clips, teasers and trailers that were released before the film itself. I felt like I had nearly seen the whole thing before I even walked into the cinema. Like I said in a previous post, I’m a researcher- I can’t help myself. If Hollywood is going to offer these tid-bits before the film comes out, I’ll gobble them up and then feel guilty afterwards, just like if they were a chocolate cake. It’s the way I’m made. 

But if thats all I can fault this film on, then lovers of the book, you have nothing to fear. 

Emilia Clarke and Sam Claflin stole my heart completely as soon as they appeared on screen. They are Lou and Will, completely. they embodied the roles with such passion and tenderness that you really had no doubt they were perfect choices. Well done casting directors, well done indeed. The film, and the book itself are so wonderfully British, not two words we’ve been hearing together all that recently, and these two actors just brought that even more to life. 

The backdrop was perfection, the ageing castles and the quintessential manor house where most of the story is set took my breath away, and reminded me of the beauty that is in the English countryside. I love films that just capture the essence of England, the rolling countrysides and the little tea-shops, the little country lanes and the brightly coloured terrace houses with their overgrown front lawns- I love it. And ‘Me Before You’ really captures the best of it all. 

Lou’s outfits and clothing choices were a real show-stopper and play a very strong theme throughout the entire book, therefore I was so glad to see it wasn’t diluted or forgotten about in the film. Whilst the novel goes into more depth about why she chooses to dress the way she does, with bright colours and numerous layers and all around general wackiness, the film didn’t touch upon that certain subject, which I am in two minds about. Unfortunately, her reason behind her attitude and clothing is so heartbreaking it would have had you in tears a lot earlier on in the movie- Lou goes through some tough times before the beginning of the novel, and it changes her as a person, knocks her life onto a different path. And whilst in a book the length and depth of a novel allows you to recover, to recollect yourself and pace your emotions- it’s not something you can do with a film. But, on the other hand, its a subject that needs to be addressed urgently and in a manner that supports those involved. I don’t want to spoil the novel for people who haven’t read the book yet, so if you don’t know what I’m talking about, you know what to do. 

The supporting cast was wonderful as well, all recognisable faces who bought the characters to life with such conviction and loyalty to the original text and the characters that Moyes has created. Charles Dance and Jenna Coleman are but a few of the stellar actors who were part of this film, and they were wonderful. I seriously cannot fault them. 

The storyline flows well, it’s a classic story of boy dislikes girl, girl dislikes boy and yet we watch as they grow to like and eventually love one another. It’s a story that has been told many, many times over- and so it’s a story that needs a twist to make it stand out, to make it something special. And whilst it remained cliché in some places, it became totally original in others. The twist in the story is Will’s paralysis, and the role they play in each other’s life. You expect Lou to change Will’s life, to show him that it’s worth living for- yet somehow those roles reverse and it’s Will teaching Lou that there is so much more potential for her in the world. 

As I said before, there are many topics within the film that can be seen as emotionally distressing or particularly sensitive. There is the theme of Euthanasia, Claflin’s character becoming paralysed from the neck down and wanting to end his life in Switzerland. There was an outcry when the film was released about this particular theme as many believed it cast disabled people as a burden on their families etc… Perhaps that is how it can be perceived, but I believe this film just shows one case in particular. Claflin’s character is clearly shown, on multiple occasions, to have led a very active and adventurous lifestyle before his accident. Moyes writes the character so you believe that he is truly unhappy with his own predicament, not because he believes the world would be better off without him- something I think is portrayed on the screen as well. 

But, it’s a film that made me laugh, it made me cry, and it made me leave the cinema feeling content that justice had been done to the book and that the story had been told right. A definite must-see with either your partner or your girlfriends. Either way, just bring some tissues. 

8.5/10

 

Top Five Films Coming Soon

Suicide Squad 

suicide-squad-posterThis is without a doubt the film I am most excited about out of this year’s releases. With an all star cast and a great twist on the classic ‘superhero’ movie, it’s bound to be amazing. It’s still a superhero movie, only…told from the side of the villains. 

Will Smith and Margot Robbie head up the team, or ‘Squad’ if you like, of these misfits and vandals, captured and used by the government for their own gain. It’s the bad guys trying to go good, however reluctantly. 

Jared Leto takes the mantel of ‘the Joker’ and from the trailers clearly has his own memorable twist on the role. 

The trailer is supported by a truly awesome soundtrack and punchy one-liners, and is definitely going to be the movie of the summer. 

Release Date: 5th August 2016

Beauty and The Beast 

beauty and the beastThe re-telling and live animation of the Disney classic is coming to the big screens, and the little girl in me is so very pleased about this news. Now, I know, touching something that is already, in my opinion, perfect, is always a risky move, but after the success of ‘Cinderella’ and ‘Malificent’, I have to say I have high hopes. 

I’m excited to see Emma Watson take on the role of Belle, to don the yellow dress and descend the staircase in the graceful way we know she’s capable of. 

Looks-wise, the cast is stellar. Josh Gad as the comic relief, Luke Evans as Gaston…it’s perfect. 

The only thing that’s upsetting is how long we have to wait until the release date. 

Release Date: March 2017

Star Trek 

star-trek-beyond-posterThe third film of the re-boot series is being released just around the corner, and it promises to be bigger and better than ever before. Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto and Zoe Saldana are back in the iconic roles of Kirk, Spock and Uhura, whilst Idris Elba is the newcomer playing the villain. 

The characters and the storyline seem to be pushing the boundaries even more than before, going into unchartered territory, hence the ‘beyond’ in the title, and facing the dangers within.

I’m looking forward to seeing the veterans return and explore their relationships further, as well as the CGI and new worlds Justin Lin and Simon Pegg will have created.

Release Date: 22nd July 2016  

Inferno 

inferno-movie-2016-poster-international-500x741I’m in two minds of Dan Brown’s novels- I do enjoy them but they are also often ‘fact overload’ which derives from the storyline. But, I cannot deny how much I enjoy the movie adaptations, especially with Tom Hanks playing the lead role of Robert Langdon.

I love the art, the history, the symbology and the combination of adventure and excitement that binds the story together. It’s action and educational. 

Felicity Jones plays his leading lady in this particular film, playing Dr Sienna Brooks, a brilliant doctor with a mysterious past. I’ll say no more. 

The film, and the novel, features around ‘Dantes’ Inferno’ which makes Langdon invaluable to solving whichever crisis is about to hit. It’s up to him to save the world, yet again. 

Release Date: 14th October 2016

Jason Bourne 

jason-bourne-poster-teaser-620x981Jason Bourne is back, baby! And Matt Damon is too. Regardless of the not so creative name of the film, I guess the poster is right, I’m really excited about this movie. 

I love Matt Damon’s portrayal of the super spy Bourne, and it will be interesting to see him back in action. 

The storyline appears to be continuing on from ‘Ultimatum’, with Bourne still trying to piece together the last fragments of his lost memory whilst the government come up with new technological ways to hunt him down. 

The trailers promises a lot of brawls, car chases and nail biting moments that we’ve come to expect from a Bourne film. 

Release Date: 27th July 2016

EXTRA: Tomb Raider 

I just had to put in a little line about the recent news about the Lara Croft: Tomb Raider re-boot movie series as they have released the news that Alicia Vikander, from films such as ‘The Danish Girl’ and ‘Testament of Youth’ will be playing the lead role. I may have had mixed feelings when they first announced the re-boot, but with Vikander at the helm I’m starting to shift from apprehensive to excited. It will be interesting to see how they approach this already iconic role. 

The Return of Winter

*This is a work of fiction*

The call came through just as Detective Dylan Carter was prepared to call it a night. He was sitting staring blankly at his computer screen, willing it to reveal some clue he was convinced he had missed, when the shrill sound of the phone jolted him back to reality. His partner, pacing the width of his desk opposite him, leapt and grabbed the receiver, jamming it to his ear.

‘Hollis.’

Pause.

‘Huh-huh. Huh-huh.’

Another pause. Carter picked up a pen and started to roll it between his fingers.

‘You’re sure?’ Hollis stopped pacing. ‘Alice, don’t fuck with me.’

Carter heard the woman on the other end laugh and couldn’t stop the grin growing on his own face.

‘Great, thanks Alice,’ Hollis hung up a few moments later and whistled for Carter’s attention.

‘Yo, time to move. Alice said the blood work came through positive. The chief is working on the warrant now.’

Carter threw the pen down on the desk and stood up, grabbing his jacket off the back of his chair.

‘You serious? It’s a match?’

‘Near perfect. Your boy Garrett is going away for a long time.’

The two men fell into step together as they left the precinct and headed towards Carter’s SUV, the closest thing to a baby Carter was ever going to have.

‘You got a home address?’ Carter asked. Hollis shook his head.

‘I can do you one better- work.’

Carter’s head snapped round to look at his partner.

‘No fucking way. They just handed that over to you?’

Hollis smiled a shit eating grin.

‘I may have had to use my powers of persuasion.’

Carter didn’t ask any more questions. He really didn’t want to know.

‘Hang on, who’d you persuade? There’s no way the boys down in the Drug Department gave you Garrett’s address-‘

‘I didn’t talk to those assholes. Meredith in trafficking gave it to me. Good and hard,’ Hollis added, making Carter roll his eyes.

‘What does she have-? No…’ he said, grinning.

‘Oh yes. Our boy’s being tracked for human trafficking and prostitution. Seriously, is there any pie this guy doesn’t have his finger stuck in?’

The street lamps had started flickering on, paving the road as they sped toward their destination. A large abandoned warehouse on the South Side. Carter couldn’t help thinking how much of a cliché it all was.

‘Back-up?’

‘ETA in four minutes,’ Hollis replied. They both got out of the car and headed round the back, popping the trunk. Carter grabbed his bulletproof vest before handing another to Hollis. He and his partner may have been known around the precinct as reckless, but they were also well seasoned cops who knew the importance of a vest. They both had the scars to prove it.

‘Looks dead. You sure this is the place?’ Carter asked three minutes later. He was getting restless, finding it hard to stay still. Joe Garrett had been his personal ghost for the past three years, and he really needed to nail this guy.

‘Don’t blame me, blame the source,’ Hollis shrugged.

‘Who, your girlfriend?’

‘Ain’t my girlfriend,’ Hollis threw back.

Carter chuckled, and started to edge forward. He un-holstered his gun and heard Hollis do the same behind him. Together they crept forward, staying close to the side of the building and listening for the sounds of movement coming from nearby. Carter could feel his trigger finger itching, holding the gun tightly as he edged forward.

‘How we gonna celebrate?’ Hollis said softly.

Carter rolled his eyes. ‘Let’s nail this guy first. Then decide what the fuck we’re gonna get drunk on.’

‘I like the sound of that.’

Just at that moment the call came through their earpieces that the backup had arrived and were in position- snipers on the roof of the building opposite, guns trained on the only door visible. Either Garrett was stupid or risky; because Carter knew one door meant one way in and out. It made him calculate the odds in his head- they were either gonna find girls, guns or drugs in this warehouse, and the one door was screaming odds in favour of the first.

‘Hollis. Call for an ambulance.’

‘What?’

‘Got a gut instinct going on.’

‘Ah, shit.’

Carter heard his partner bark a few words into his earpiece before calling emergency services. ‘They’re on their way. What you think we gonna find in there?’

‘I dunno. But I don’t think it’s what we are looking for.’

There was a quick countdown and the two men along with ten others stormed through the door into the building, guns held shoulder height and announcing who they were. Three men guarding the warehouse began firing back, and Carter ducked behind some crates and barrels to the side, ducking his head against the gunfire.

He was getting too old for this shit.

Finally the three men were down and silence prevailed, only one of their men injured. Carter checked on him before heading further into the warehouse, wanting to see what Garrett had been storing. Checking the three dead men, he was disappointed to find none of them were Garrett himself, but rather his lackeys. Fuckin’ A.

‘Yo, Carter- where you headed?’

‘There’s a room back here, wanna see what Garrett’s got cooking.’

‘Need backup?’

‘Nah, I got this.’

The door opened into a narrow corridor, numerous doors on either side. Doors with very big locks on them. The doors were old, but the locks looked brand spanking new, causing Carter’s wariness to soar. He kept his gun un-holstered and by his side, eyes darting around for any sudden movement. He came to the first door and decided to risk it, using the butt of his gun to smash against the lock until it broke. He pulled the pieces away and gave the door a shove, stumbling slightly when the door gave way easily. Carter had to wait a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness before looking around.

Suddenly, there was movement.

The girl was lying on the bed, scantily clad. Everything that needed to be was covered, Carter thanked God, but the rest left little to the imagination.

Carter strode over to her, putting his gun back in the holster.

‘Hey, you OK?’

The girl looked at him incredulously.

‘I’ve been better.’

Carter reached out a hand for her to take. The girl stared at it for a moment before returning to his gaze.

‘Now you’re offering a hand?’

Carter frowned.

‘What?’

The girl smiled. It was a humourless smile. It looked ugly on her young face.

‘It’s been a while, Dylan. You got old.’

He should be offended, but he was too busy trying to rack his brain, trying to remember this girl. She was all long limbed and delicate features, hair that was dark brown on the top and slowly lightened to blonde at the end. Carter knew that was the fashion these days, but fuck if he understood it.

‘You know me?’

‘Biblically? No.’

He let out a silent breath. Not a scorned lover then. But who-?

‘Holy fuck.’ Now he knew. It had been years, seven to be precise, but he could see it now. The same hazel eyes, same pointed chin. ‘Effie?’

Carter grabbed her arm and pulled her up from the bed, snatching the blanket one of the paramedics had brought and wrapping it round her, both for modesty and warmth.

‘Effie Winter? What the hell are you doing here?’

‘Oh, you know. Just catching a movie. You?’

Carter didn’t respond. Instead, he just stared. Of all the places in the world, this was the last of them he would have expected to see his best friend’s daughter.

‘Come with me,’ he said, holding on firmly to her arm, noting how skinny it was. He led her out of the warehouse and over to one of the ambulances, demanding that a paramedic check her out. He ignored her sounds of protests and promised to rip the paramedic limb from limb if he didn’t take good care of her before heading back over to his SUV where Hollis was waiting.

‘Found one you like?’ Hollis said, nodding back over to Effie.

‘Don’t.’

Hollis clearly noticed the look on Carter’s face because he stopped joking and fell serious.

‘Dude, you OK?’

‘That’s Andy Winter’s kid.’

Hollis looked repeatedly between Carter and where Effie was standing.

‘Are you fucking around?’

Carter shook his head. Hollis let out a low whistle.

‘You seen her since the accident?’

Carter stiffened, the subject still sore.

‘Damn, what happened to her?’

‘No clue. But I plan to find out.’

 

 

 

My Younger Self

*This is a work of fiction*

I want to write to my younger self, to tell her some of the things I have learned in the years between the person I was and the person I now am. 

I would tell her to be braver. There are never more things missed than because she was not brave enough to take them. 

I would tell her to take the job- it doesn’t matter if it’s far away or will take you from the people you love. Sometimes, that’s a good thing- no matter how much you think it isn’t. It might have saved a lot of heartbreak for both of us.

I would tell her that above everyone else, she needs to be happy. Stop saying the things you think people want to hear, stop trying to be a person that you just aren’t. Or, try to be that person for real rather than simply acting. You’ll be happier for it, I’m sure. The truth is, I haven’t quite yet mastered that one. 

I would tell her to keep writing, and to DO something with it. Those plays and novels you’ve started and yet just sit there collecting dust aren’t going to do anything for you. We could be bestsellers by now, you know. 

Do more things on your own, is something I would tell my younger self. It’s OK to be on your own, regardless of how you feel. Whether its something big or something small, just go for it. You’ll never know how dependent on your independence you will have to be. 

I would tell her to let go. Of the guy, of the friendships, of the things that are unobtainable. We’re dreamers- girl, I know that, but some things are just not meant to be. It doesn’t matter how he makes you feel, or that you want to be included. It’s a harsh reality, but you needed to learn it then rather than me learning it now. 

I would also tell her to hold on. There are friends you let pass you by because you couldn’t muster the strength or energy to keep it going. That’s not OK, and your life might be richer with them in it. Find the energy, muster the courage and keep that friendship alive. They may depend on you as much as you depend on them. 

I would tell her to have an open mind, to try things. You don’t know who you are yet, you need experiences for that. So go out, and get some. But, don’t get your fringe cut- you always think it will work, and it never does. We’re just not fringe people, my dear. 

I would tell her to be patient. The diet isn’t going to happen overnight, and nor is the life you’re dreaming of. I know all about it- I remember it so clearly. I hate to break it to you, but we’re not quite there yet. But you have to work for it, and there is a difference between patience and procrastination. That dream life isn’t going to happen if you wait forever, so learn the difference. 

I would tell her to stand up for herself. Don’t let the words you’re so desperate to say get stuck at the back of your throat. Don’t sit there in silence with wide eyes and nothing to say. Speak out, because respect is worth more than acceptance. If they don’t respect you, they won’t accept you. And one lasts longer than the other. Staying silent won’t help, and will allow people to take control. Take control of your own life, little one. Don’t let anyone else think you’re OK when you’re not. It’s unhealthy, trust me. 

I would tell her to trust her instincts. Learn that not everyone is to be trusted, and to not wear your emotions on your sleeve. You have to be tougher than that if you want to get better- because otherwise you are going to go through some rough times. And they might say it makes you stronger, but trust me- it doesn’t. It just hurts like hell. Protect yourself, my darling younger self. 

I suppose it would be a letter of regrets, but also of hope. Hope that I could be a better person that I have been. Hope that if I knew then what I know now, the mistakes made wouldn’t be in vain, that they wouldn’t be so pointless. I want this letter to make a stronger and braver version of myself- one who isn’t afraid to take chances or step a little out of line. 

I want to make a happier version of me. A person who isn’t going to look back on her life and wonder ‘what if’? Two words that are completely harmless on their own but when put together have the ability to change a person’s life forever. 

So my big ‘what if’ today would be…what if I really could send this letter to myself? Would it change anything? 

 

‘Captain America: Civil War’ FILM REVIEW

Now, I know I’m a little behind with posting this movie review, but it felt like disrespect to the film if I didn’t. 

For those who know me, and now those of you that don’t, I am a huge comic book movie fan. I have been since the day Robert Downey, Jr graced our screens as Iron Man EIGHT years ago. I know, I know- it doesn’t seem like there was a time before these films were in our lives, but that’s the truth. And the latest in the series is ‘Captain America: Civil War’. 

Now, where to start? Not only is this a huge story arc in the comics for two of the most well known and well loved comic book superheroes, but it is also an extremely pivotal moment for the phases that Marvel Cinematic Universe are creating. It’s the start of phase three, the last of the phases and what I like to call, ‘the beginning of the end’. We have seen the origin stories, and we have seen the Avenger’s come together to for the greater good- now, we see them battle among themselves to determine what actually is ‘the greater good’ and how they are going to achieve it. 

I loved this movie, but then again, Marvel continues to live up to my expectations. It managed to create turmoil and unrest between the characters without ever making them the villains, you understood why they were fighting on the side they had chosen, and what motivated each and everyone of them. There was a great mixture of old and new faces, and no one character stole more screen time than was necessary. 

The story follows on from Avengers: Age of Ultron, and we find the camp split in two after the United Nations wants to create a government group that takes control of the Avengers and the missions they choose to take. Now, it’s a lot more complicated and thorough than that, but it’s the condensed form- plus, I don’t want to give too much away. The team is split with Captain America leading one side, whilst Iron Man heads up the other. Its a battle of friends and best intentions, and really grips you from start to finish.  

Some new faces include Black Panther and Spiderman, whilst old favourites like Ant-Man who stood strong in their stand alone movie really bring a sense of comic relief to the film. We see villains become friends, friends become enemies and many a patience tried. You spend the entire film trying to work out which side you think is right and wondering how on earth the relationships broken will ever be fixed. 

The action sequences, and there are many as per Marvel quota, deserve to be spoken about for many reasons. I cannot stand those movies where the action sequences are all the same, where there’s no mixture or diversity. Thankfully, this is not one of those movies. Each fight has a purpose, and is choreographed so brilliantly that you are on edge of your seat the entire time. One involves a motorbike, the next Captain America is clinging to the side of a building trying to stop a helicopter from taking off- it’s intense. The fight sequence in the airport is particularly breath-taking, a showcase of all the characters abilities in unique and entertaining ways. 

And the dialogue itself flows well, both a commendation to the writers and the actors. There is just enough moving moments, dramatic pauses, angry rants and surprise twists to make it a true Marvel film. Nothing is spoon fed to the audience, and there’s no big explanation where the villain describes his plans in intimate detail- the whole film keeps an edge of mystery about it, flicking between past and present until the big reveal at the end. I loved it, and that’s because I love being surprised. I’m a researcher, when I find a film or character I like I’ll read about them endlessly until I know everything- so when a film like this comes out and knocks me for ten, I love it. 

A big shout out to Chris Evans, reprising his role as Captain America, for showing a more reckless and law breaking side to his previously squeaky-clean character. There was a real dept to his character that I felt we didn’t see in previous films- the struggle to do what is right against what the law is telling him. That and his onscreen relationship with the Winter Solider, played by Sebastian Stan, really made him the stand out role for me. 

The newcomer Black Panther, portrayed by Chadwick Boseman, was another favourite of mine. A difficult role in itself, playing both a King and a superhero, whilst also having to stand tall amongst the veteran actors of Marvel, is not an easy task, yet Boseman handled it with ease and agility that made him born to play the role. I am really looking forward to the Black Panther solo film to see more of Boseman playing the role. 

To end, and put simply, a definite 2016 favourite of mine, and perhaps favourite Marvel film so far- as much as I enjoy the solo films, I love seeing the superheroes come together and this one, without Thor or Hulk sadly, really rose through the ranks for me to secure a top three placing. 

8/10 

He Cries

*This is a work of fiction.*

After my mother died, I changed. I don’t remember doing so; I was barely two years old at the time. But my life was changed.

            I think about what my life could have been like, if she had lived. Would I have cut my hair in that particular style? Would I weigh as much as I currently do?

            Would I be happier?

            Would I even still be here?

             I go to a dark place with these thoughts. I fight a lot. I get in trouble, all the goddamn time. Mainly for my profanity. My dad would be called into the office, the head-teacher would lecture us both and then when we got into the car he would cry. He cries a lot, I don’t know why. Then I start to question what he used to be like, before Mum died. Did he smile more, and act more easy-going? Would he have a beard or be a chain smoker if she was still here? I’ll never know. But I see him, or at least see through his shell to the emptiness within. He’ll do anything for an easy life, and when it gets tough- he cries.

We rarely talk, not just about Mum but about anything anymore. Not that we ever did before, but now that I’ve hit teenage years he’s drawn back even further, almost as if he is afraid of me. Maybe I remind him of Mum, and that’s why he keeps his distance. The way I tilt my head when I’m confused or only eat apples at the weekend, all just painful reminders of a women he once loved and lost. Or the reasons why he cries.

He took me for coffee the first time I got called into the head masters lair. I had just said ‘fuck’ for the first time at Susie Dickens because she stole my thought about Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice and acted like it had been her own. Not only did the teacher commend her, but he didn’t believe me. Hence ‘fuck’, followed by a ‘you’.

That time my father didn’t cry, he just seemed disappointed. That is worse, because then you feel like shit and there is nothing to do. When someone cries you can get a tissue, or make tea. Tea fixes everything.

            ‘What’s going on?’ that’s was his opening line.

            ‘What do you mean?’ I parry back.

            ‘This isn’t like you,’ he said. I swiped a lick of foam onto my finger and suck on it.

            ‘How do you know? It could be me, just not the ‘me’ right now.’

            ‘What?’

            ‘There could be a thousand ‘me’s’, all out there struggling to be dominant. You’re a mechanic, think of this as a test drive.’

            ‘Well, I think this model is faulty.’ We both get our sarcasm from the same place, his father. Unfortunately it never skips a generation. I would have laughed, but the mood seemed to suggest not to. 

            ‘I could just be getting on the road.’ That’s when the disappointment showed. I think he wanted me to be remorseful, sorry for what I had done. He wanted me to be the perfect new model. But when a tragedy strikes, it travels through time. Time can heal wounds but also makes new ones. I made decisions I wouldn’t have if Mum was here. If she had been, I may not have said ‘fuck’ at all. And if she had been here Dad and I would have a relationship opposite to what we do now. I’d be a whole different me.

After I explained Dad didn’t say anything, but that night was the first time I saw him cry.